boxing day

the day after christmas... it's boxing day. the day which is meaningful to 2 person.. my niece, rebecca's 21st bday and a friend, kenny's bday.
on this 8th boxing day that we're together... i've finally realised that i wasn't so impt to you after all. maybe my value had deteriorated over the years... i dunno. but u stay forever in that high position u've got in my heart. this valentine's and christmas... i got nothing from the person i loved. no momento.. no keepsake.. nothing. yes, u read right... NOTHING. =( i can't help it... but to let my tears fall down my cheeks. i gave you a christmas gift... our lavigne girl. u... gave me nothing. u even tried to stinge on our anniversary dinner. i've given up hope that you'd ever give me a surprise... a dinner at some romantic place... a unforgetable experience of my life. yet, the most memorable christmas i had with you was driving thru and admiring the most beautiful lights ever lighted up on orchard road. we both just started working and were so broke coz we spend every single cent on maintain the dream car we had then. no gift exchanges... no friends to celebrate with coz they were either all against our relationship or too neutral. but i enjoyed every single minute with you then. we were poor but happy... now, i prob expected more. u earned more than me now... but you cldn't even bear to buy me something which you know i will like. =( you thought it was a waste of money.
you are cold to me now which i couldn't take it. after 8 years together... i hate to admit but your feelings for me had really faded. our relationship really can't take the storm created by your mom? you thought i was being rude to her... din you? have you ever thought that she was rude and insulting to me first? and you shld noe how she had insulted me when u wanted to be with me 8 yrs ago.
now i have come to realised... that i m not of the same value as 8yrs ago. i m sad, but for the sake of my 2 kids i want to be strong. i m ready to give you up if you ever think that you can't live with me anymore. i wish you had thought of how hard i fought the battle to be with you. i gambled with my life just to be with you. which is why i always wished that you wld appreciate me more.
as dal always said... you must be so good that your the other half took advantage of you. yes... socially my status was insult to you. but emotionally, i was too good for you. i hope i wasn't too thick skinned to say that. =( the most depressing christmas season i had, but i will always love christmas day. =/
pls... pray for strength for me, your vulnerable friend. i hope i dun fall deep into depression. i hope for all to disappear... i hope for motivation to carry on. i will always love you as i love our lovely kids, ashton n lavigne. i hope you do too.