today...

it's the last day of 2008... yet again, it's 3 person's birthday. serene, wayne and mich's birthday... we're having potluck at serena's house today. will be taking curry, fried bee hoon and some pig trotters along. =)
recently found the westlake sec sch group... oh my, i found so many of my old frens! good to see them again, some are very successful in their careers while some are happily married with kids. so envy...
started mapling again... now at lv24 of my pirate career. =)
update again after today ya...
happy 2009!

boxing day

the day after christmas... it's boxing day. the day which is meaningful to 2 person.. my niece, rebecca's 21st bday and a friend, kenny's bday.
on this 8th boxing day that we're together... i've finally realised that i wasn't so impt to you after all. maybe my value had deteriorated over the years... i dunno. but u stay forever in that high position u've got in my heart. this valentine's and christmas... i got nothing from the person i loved. no momento.. no keepsake.. nothing. yes, u read right... NOTHING. =( i can't help it... but to let my tears fall down my cheeks. i gave you a christmas gift... our lavigne girl. u... gave me nothing. u even tried to stinge on our anniversary dinner. i've given up hope that you'd ever give me a surprise... a dinner at some romantic place... a unforgetable experience of my life. yet, the most memorable christmas i had with you was driving thru and admiring the most beautiful lights ever lighted up on orchard road. we both just started working and were so broke coz we spend every single cent on maintain the dream car we had then. no gift exchanges... no friends to celebrate with coz they were either all against our relationship or too neutral. but i enjoyed every single minute with you then. we were poor but happy... now, i prob expected more. u earned more than me now... but you cldn't even bear to buy me something which you know i will like. =( you thought it was a waste of money.
you are cold to me now which i couldn't take it. after 8 years together... i hate to admit but your feelings for me had really faded. our relationship really can't take the storm created by your mom? you thought i was being rude to her... din you? have you ever thought that she was rude and insulting to me first? and you shld noe how she had insulted me when u wanted to be with me 8 yrs ago.
now i have come to realised... that i m not of the same value as 8yrs ago. i m sad, but for the sake of my 2 kids i want to be strong. i m ready to give you up if you ever think that you can't live with me anymore. i wish you had thought of how hard i fought the battle to be with you. i gambled with my life just to be with you. which is why i always wished that you wld appreciate me more.
as dal always said... you must be so good that your the other half took advantage of you. yes... socially my status was insult to you. but emotionally, i was too good for you. i hope i wasn't too thick skinned to say that. =( the most depressing christmas season i had, but i will always love christmas day. =/
pls... pray for strength for me, your vulnerable friend. i hope i dun fall deep into depression. i hope for all to disappear... i hope for motivation to carry on. i will always love you as i love our lovely kids, ashton n lavigne. i hope you do too.

it's x'mas time again!

it's xmas eve again... a year passed with a blink of the eye. =)
i woke up rather 'early'... told didi about the lappy i was eyeing on. he read the specs and tot it was quite good but had reservations abt it. din wan to invest then find the wireless too slow SO he made me buy it first. LOL... was pestering me to go sim lim the whole 10mins, offering to send me there to purchase it. keke... i oredi intended to buy it, good that he made tat offer. i dun have to wait for mark to be back to go there to buy and have mark nagging in my ear that the parking charges there can kill ppl. =/
didi was the one who pestered me to hurry up so that he cld take me to sim lim to get my lappy, in the end i was the one waiting for him to 'make up'. =/ got there, had our lunch and off we went shopping for my lappy. from the ground level we asked... the prices got discounted more as we ascend the levels. LOL... $758 w/o ram upgrade on the ground level... to $749 with ram upgrade. mai ko tu liao... i went to the atm at the ground floor again to withdraw $$ and got the $749 deal. now... i m blogging away on my new little netbook. so cute.. the keys are so nice to type. unlike the macbook keys, all spaced out like the sony vaio. but even the vaio is better to type on. =)





later in the day, the guys came over for party. mini affair... with gift exchanges and presents for the kids. see the pics... ashton & lavigne's presents from ah kim, aunties n uncles. ashton was delighted! the girls stayed around gossiping... wat else, abt their in laws and hubby probs lah. me leh... was busy with my lappy, ensuring that it cld sure the louis vuitton website. LOL... so, flash player n java wasn't downloaded... i had to do it myself. keke... so happy with my new lappy now that i neglected my camera. so little pics.. =(

Lavigne's full mth

2 days after i switch lavigne to Nan HA 1, her outbreak cleared. =) i was grinning from ear to ear in the middle of the night was feeding her milk and examining her face. can't help but feel good that i managed to switch her from S26 Gold to Nan and that move cleared her face of the pimples. she managed to 见人 without getting neg comments that she's having a outbreak on her face. LOL...
we celebrated her full month yesterday... woke up early in the morning to find it raining slightly. =/ had to go temple to 还神 to 注生娘娘 for she had really blessed my lil girl with safe delivery and good health. =) after which we dropped by the 24hr ntuc to get beer for the celebration later. went back, dropped mum n ashton, settled the beer in the ice box and we went out again to collect the sweetest moments cakes. circled 3 times before we found the shop. =.=
din have the egg bathing for lavigne.. it was cold coz still raining. will do it on wed instead.. the actual day of her full mth.
settled her insurance too... nt long after the buffet came. then alot of ppl came! lol... din have the energy to take pics though. =/
so no pics to post lah.. hahaha.

poor thing...

lavigne's having difficulties falling aslp. =/ fed her 90ml of milk... she couldn't sleep and i tot she was still hungry. after an hr or so.. i gave her another 60ml but she only managed to finish off about 30ml. filled to the brim i tot... then all of the sudden, she threw up all her milk! it flowed out of her nostrils too and she was almost choking... she gave me a huge fright and i immediately put her upright... only then she managed to catch her breathe and started to pant hard.
she scared the daylights out of me lor... so i dare not give her too much milk le. thankfully... after her bath she fell aslp till rather late then woke up for milk. fed her another 80ml and after tat she fell aslp again just after midnight. for the next 2hrly, she woke for milk and fell aslp soon after feeding. *phew*
i was rather concerned about her throwing up coz she never threw up since birth... and the outbreak she has on her face. took her to doc heng, alamak... she's allergic to cow's milk lah. haiz... have to mix HA milk for her to reduce the 'pimples'. got a mild body wash, 2 types of creams and kena killed for all those at $110.00.
mei ah... please dun fall sick again lah... mummy cannot tahan le leh. =/
oh ya.. did i mention tat she's put on 1kg since birth? =) she looks so chubby now.

LV's 3 weeks old...

hooray... Lv's 3 wks old le. this signifies tat her full month is near... and my full mth too. LOL... i'll be able to drink my iced cold coke too... bathe as and when i like. =D
after paying the docs' abt 400 bucks in total... ashton finally recovered. still having runny nose though. at least the stomach flu is gone... it's real heartbreaking to see him getting the runs and vomitting. and the worse is, he can't even drink milk! milk is the only meal he gets daily... he dun eat rice or anything else only milk. finally it's all gone... no more diarrhoea no more vomitting! but we still dunno who brought the virus home.. maybe is me? =P my bro also got the virus... mark also got it.
lv is growing very well.. drink more milk than ashton when he was a baby. i m glad to just feed her whenever she wants... grow ok my dear? looking forward to her full month this sunday. =)

Ashton's sick!!!

for 3 consecutive days... i brought ashton to the doc. =( not because im too rich lor... simply because my ashton was sick. in these 3 days, more than $200 bucks gone... and i have to pacify him wif toys.
recently, my bro pointed out tat ashton might be jealous of lil LV... LV is the short form for Lavigne. Uncle Johnson gave de nickname... coz it's my fav brand too. like tat also can... cant tahan him. keke...
ashton's become more rude and defiant... i practically have to scream at him to get him to go for his baths and to take his medications. he will give u all sorts of excuses so tat he need nt go for his baths... like tummyache lah.. fingers so pain u noe...
how to let him noe tat mummy n daddy still loves him as much as we used to? we dun just love mei mei leh... he's my first born and he had my full attention for 3 yrs, how can i just dun love him all of a sudden?
im at a lost now...
only god can help now.
=(

am i getting the blues?

i tot i wont be getting it since it's my second child. i was in fact confident tat he wld nt let me get it... i was wrong. no doubt he was more concern about lavigne and will help me change her diapers and feeds... i m still getting bouts of it occassionally. =(
today, i m supposed to go to LV hilton for their xmas party... and also to buy his xmas pressie. ashton fell sick, vomitting n diarrhoea... i couldn't go. he leh... might as well, could come back to take us to the doc.. ask me to ask my bro. haiz...
i felt so burdened... coz i feel he din care. i sensed jealousy in ashton.. he's getting more defensive and rude.. he must have felt tat we loved lavigne more. no... i love u all the same, ashton... u're my first born and how can i nt love you? i nursed u since the day u were born u noe? well, his father came home late... very late. last min then inform me tat he's having dinner wif his customer. true or not.. i m too tired to find out. or was he out wif the guys drinking?
all the full mth celebration... seems to be only me preparing for it. coz i couldn't wait for lavigne to be a mth old... so tat i could get out of the house! he came back late... din reply to my sms.. din ans my calls etc. i was damn pissed... and felt the blues setting in...
i m at the same time worried too... i tot i felt the bump on ashton's head.
going to check his head out again.. =/
for the next few posts... dun think will have anything good to blog about. read if u wan to... otherwise, keep yr blardy mouth shut. yes, i dun take negative comments nw... thanks.

selfish Ashton

it really pains me to cane ashton... but i have to discipline him. =/ he's becoming more n more selfish, refusing to lend xan his toys. seems like i failed as a mother, i couldn't teach him to be more generous wif his toys. but he has plenty of toys! so wat if xan took a few of his toys? maybe i dun understand wat he's thinking of... but i love him so much and always try to buy the toys he requested. probably he thinks that didi has a rich father... alot of $$ to buy didi toys so he dun have to share? LOL...
watever it is.. i hope that he would share his toys, wif xan and lavigne in future. =)
lavigne is putting on weight now... her lil tomato face is getting firmer. she has gain a few hundred grammes le... finally hit 3kg for now. =) grow up faster ok... mummy will bring you out and buy toys for you too so that u can play wif girlie toys and not cars or balls like wat kor kor is playing now. had her birth cert registered yesterday... nice number. then took her to toa payoh to see dr heng for her jaundice. wah sey... it was so damn crowded man! lucky i m on good terms wif the clinic assistant cindy. she managed to shove lavigne's card to the front and i only had to wait for abt half an hour. after tat, took mum to food court to eat... ah... finally, i had chicken rice! LOL... and i m still in confinement. keke... i still avoid cold drinks though... =( i miss coke!
after lunch, had the baby bonus form endorsed by the bank, bought biscuits for ashton and we set off to send the ice box to clara's place for her house warming today. she was so nice... bought me bird's nests before and still got me a bottle of dom... so paiseh. haiz...
lucky i feel better after giving birth and do not have any post natal depression. *touchwood*
that's all for now... will blog when free. now busy wif lavigne's full month celebration...

Lavigne's 1 week old le...

today finally got to start my massage le. the lady was punctual... or rather early! the massage was so so nia... she concentrated more on my tummy and back and bound my tummy wif jamu. it was feeling prickly and hot at first, then i got used to it. right after tat we took lavigne to the doc. wah.. waited quite long for her turn. then when it's finally our turn, we took only 3 mins. =/ lucky, doc says her jaundice is getting better and no need to do a bilirium blood test. =) otherwise so heartache to hear her cry. we bought lunch and headed for home...
had lunch.. decided to leave the wrap on. almost dozed off when mark came back. then he took care of lil lavigne while i nap a while. had a power nap.. 10mins nia. LOL...
lavigne's getting more alert as days passes... not like ashton who was affected by jaundice and slept alot during his infant days. she cries for milk almost every hour if she's awake... hmm.. make me so busy; not feeding her but busy washing her bottles. keke...
during dinner, mark asked if he could go out wif the guys for drinking. i said ok since he's so nice to clean lavigne's soiled diapers and humour her when she's cranky. now the house is left wif me, mum, ashton and the maid. =/ the rest all not at home.

17th Nov 2008

was on my way to work as usual...
as i was too tired to wake up earlier to buy breakfast, i went to office w/o it. =/ meimei was struggling inside my tummy, prob protesting about me skipping breakfast. LOL... she was emm... stronger than usual and like to kek teng teng. in actual fact, i was already experiencing contractions.. mild ones without realising it. usually by the time i settle in my seat, she'd noe that i won't be eating until tea break time and stop protesting. but on this day... she just kept moving n moving... non stop. i brushed it aside, thinking that it's too cramped inside for her. haha...
around 930-945am, i feel a lil gush of 'discharge'.. the feeling is like menstruating during the first 2 days. it just came out... i ignored it and just waited for the time to pass.. i was damn hungry lor. keke...
0955am, i went for my tea break and ate a bowl of mee pok tah. din have time to buy soft drinks to go wif it so i got it after i finished my food. was thinking, aiya.. better check if it's too much discharge, coz it's rather wet lor. while in the toilet, the moment i sat down nia.. haven't even start to pass urine... another gush of 'discharge' flow out! i was like.. wah lau eh... ar ni chuey meh. i took paper to wipe and was excited... scared... and a bit lost to see it's pinkish red in color. i look into the bowl... diluted blood!!! so it's confirmed that water broke... no wonder my girl girl is so active. =) calmly i went to my seat, along wif my sarsi and ice packet and called mark on my office phone.
monkey... din answer my call, so i called again wif my hp. he answered and excitedly asked if it's meimei coming out. i said yes and instructed him to come over to pick me fast.
though it's my second child le... i still feel jittery. the feeling is nothing i can describe. i went about switching off my other programs and clearing my desk of the mess i left before i went for teabreak. finally, i told my boss, david.. i have to go liao.. coz the water broke le. wif a smile he said ok and told me to take care. i took my bag, lock things up and left w/o another word, headed to the guardhouse and waited for mark.
mark arrived after another 5mins. =) i smiled to myself.. that was fast. on our way out of airport road, he asked if i m heading home to bathe or straight to the hospital.. i said home. then on second thoughts i think better head straight to tmc... wat if meimei can't wait to come out? lol... wat if ashton insisted on tagging along? to play safe.. we headed straight to tmc.
i walked right in to the recept area, took a q number when we got there. then mark came in and ask y m i still there. LOL.. he kan cheong liao... and went to tell one of the customer svc that my water broke. he immediately took us to the labour ward. that was 11am.
in the preparation room, the midwives were filipinos and friendly. kept joking with me and telling me wat they will be doing next. i felt so much better... 1115am, dilated 3cm. well, this midwife is really gentle.. at least she dun make me feel like i was being raped. hahaha...
i was really worried, of wat i finally realised. i had probia of needles and i hated the injection of iv drip. as the labour progressed, i begin to have second thoughts on not having epidural. the nightmare of the pain 3 years ago came back... i was reminded once again how painful it is. i surrendered, told the midwife i wanted epidural before i start to beat people up. haha... she laughed... i signed the form and the anaesthetist came in no time. tat was fast i tot... he was nice too but a bit rough leh. feel abit painful but still can tahan lah.
230pm, to urge to push came in strong... told mark to tell the nurse. i was wheeled to the delivery suite. this time, it's smaller... wif my bed facing the entrance of the door. =.= lucky got curtains to draw n protect my little modesty left lah. worse, the contractions kicked in.. i couldn't feel it but i keep feeling meimei pushing her way out! the nurse said i was lucky, coz she's eager to come out and she's helping me by pushing herself out even there's no contractions. =) the staff nurse upped my dose of epidural to take the urge away for the time being... and 3pm, she said doc still at his clinic!!! i was like HUH?! *faintz*
but she assured me that the midwives there can deliver babies like the doctors. 315pm, she said doc called again to ask her check my cervix, this time.. 8-9cm dilated liao. almost ready le. we went on trial, she set up the bed and i tried pushing the first 2 contractions. she kept saying good good... but nothing happened lah. Lavigne din pop out leh.. keke.
doc arrived in 10mins time, got ready and told me to listen to his instructions. contraction came, i pushed with watever drink milk strength i had left and out came our lil ger! like mark said, so easy hor... like laying eggs. =/




our first reaction upon seeing her was... she looks so much like Ashton!!
LOL...
till my next blog. =)